BIG CHANGE

For this post, I will put anything that relates with CHANGE. Though this will reflect more spiritually, rather than physically. There's something with February 7, 2009. And I can't believe I would be blogging stuffs that I find dramatic and so Maalaala Mo Kaya. There seem to be a big change in the Inner Me. Okay, before I go to the real deal, let's put some music (When You Say Nothing At All) so that I won't be distracted or the thoughts I need to put won't slip away. Mahirap na. I don't want to forget this moment, these thoughts running in my head, these thoughts are really important, something's sparking in them, like they're saying "You're changing, Third."

2008 has been harsh to me, I've said that a plenty of times, in my head, in my other blogs, or with my friends. Harsh. Literally. Figuratively. Life-changing. Challenges. I really hated it as much as I loved it. But 2008 helped me more than put me down. I really loved 2008. But I hated it also. I cannot expain more than this.

Remember the time when the World Economic Crisis started, when AIG fell down, and everyone followed. I think some of you followed also, and so did we. Economy for our family has been harsh. I forgot the exact month when that crisis started. All I knew was I was entering Ateneo de Manila for my college, and I felt great. And my parents are very supportive, letting me take any course I wanted that time, and so I fell to Information Design. It was really hard for that part, adjusting and everything else. New home. New school. New friends. New what-have-yous.

And then, it was the end of October when something really bad happened. And my family was greatly affected. I felt so down during the end part of first semester and the whole semestral break. I won't go into details. But just imagine your future in Ateneo to be so unsure, you might leave or not. I saw my Mom cried again and I was just comforting her and not caring if anybody else was seeing us.

And then, I was really decided to shift to another course, still in Ateneo de Manila. And I was guessing that I would be extending my college years up to 6 years. Can you imagine that?

Hay, life!

Today, my Mom left the country, and so she gave me her phone today, so I will be using her number from now on. And then, my aunt texted the number and asked if I was watching Maalaala Mo Kaya. I said, we don't have TV at the dorm. And then she said, Love your parents, and don't expect much from them. Honestly, I was hit. Am I expecting too much from them? I think I do. I'm so down, but I'm so up right at this moment. Hay, life talaga.

Blame "shyness" for I cannot say all the things I want to say to my mother...

Sorry for expecting too much. Sorry for taking things for granted. Sorry for not texting you every night when I do not know you were missing me that you had to text me that I couldn't remember you. Sorry for only texting you when I ran out of allowance. Sorry for I do not attend mass on some Sundays. Sorry for not taking the course that you wanted. Sorry for I am not the practical person like you are. Sorry for I do not really know all the smart things we should learn in life. Sorry if I might disappoint you. Sorry for giving you heartaches everytime it's tuition time. Sorry for disturbing you for I was asking about practical things that should be asked no more. Sorry for not using the laundry and do it my own inside the dorm, instead I go to laundry services. Sorry for I eat along Katipunan even though it is not needed...

Maraming marami pa. Sorry na lang to all...

BUT REST ASSURED, by writing this blog, I'm changing myself. Because 2008 had been harsh to us, I will make 2009 wonderful. If this is a curse, then let it be. I curse that 2009 will be great. I won't let you and myself down this year. I will study every night (weh!? haha). I will review even it's not the night before an exam. I won't go along Katipunan if it's not really important. I will walk from the dorm up to LRT station, instead of riding a tricycle...

As long as this would prevent me from giving you problems and heartaches...

I LURRRVE YOU, MOMMY. Hahaha. I'm really proud of all the things you have done for me and everyone else. (I'm so teary-eyed na, bwisit.) You're the best Mom, cliche I know. But who cares, you are the only Mom I know. HAHAHA.

Hay life.

:D:D:D